A Love Letter
by dikemon
Summary: "Because saying 'I hate you' isn't enough to express how I truly feel about you." No spoilers. AU.
1. To: Cater, From: Eight

_**A Love**__** Letter**_

_(disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy Type-0)_

_Set after the ending but contains no spoilers  
>Note that this is <span>set in an AU<span> and characters may be OoC (forgive me)_

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><p><em><em>Rating: K plus just to be safe<br>_Warning: Not much to worry about, but the language may get a little rough (that's an overstatement...)___

_To: Cater  
>From: Eight<br>Date: January 19, 844  
><em>

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><p>Dear Cater,<p>

Now hear me out. Before you demand why the – as you would say – _hell_ I am writing this letter instead of telling you in person is because…I am afraid. Not afraid of you! No! Of course not! What I'm going to tell you in this letter, well, I don't want to see your reaction. I'm sure reading some of the sentences will greatly upset you. But just read them out until the very end. Oh man, I just know you're going to shoot me. Well whatever. This is why I wrote this out in a letter. At least there's a _small _chance you won't attack me…

Etro! I really am scared of you! Okay, since I'm being honest. I'm terrified of you. Me and Jack call you the great demon – and before you ask, we call Sice the Grim Reaper – because you give us nightmares. Yeah, take a laugh, it's the truth.

Okay, I'm not going to attack you in any way in this letter. The point of this…you'll see by the end and most likely will rip my head apart. So here we go…

Cater, you are the most amazing person I've ever met – besides Jack and King and maybe – you know what, scratch that. You are the most amazing girl I've ever met. You are so headstrong, so determined. Nothing ever fazes you. You aren't scared of anything either. You always get missions done, even if it would cost your life. Okay, maybe you do get a little carried away on some missions. The time you burnt that village comes into mind, but you always get the job done.

Your spirit is always bright. I'm sure that everyone in class would agree that you definitely raise their spirits with your spunk. Hehe, spunk, that's a really weird word. Crap, I'm acting like Jack. Okay, ignore that (or so I wish, why did I have to write this in pen?)

Also, you always see things in a different light, which can be both good and bad. Good whenever we go on missions. Bad when you over-think the words "Can I borrow your pencil?" I still remember that poor trainee you stabbed in the shoulder with your own pencil. But I guess the good outweighs the bad, so I guess you seeing outside the box is good.

And even though you won't admit it, under that sassy, sarcastic spirit is a kind heart. Sure, you do torture me and Jack on a daily basis and I always have to see Rem or Deuce because of it. Still, you are like the middle sister of the family. You're not too strict (quite the opposite) yet you know when to take up responsibility. Though you do it in subtle ways, we all took notice of it.

I've always considered you as my best friend besides that idiot Jack (though we're more of brothers). I admired the things you did. I could always count on you for anything. Cater, I had no idea what happened between the ten years we've known each other, but you just grew up without me noticing.

You grew up to a fine young woman whom I can't help but desire.

If you've reach this part of the letter, you must have grown patience or skimmed through. How you got here, I don't mind. I'm just glad you got here. I'm sure by the last sentence up there, you know this is not a letter you thought this might be. Please give your attention to this part, because I know you are going to react in ways that I am scared to imagine.

Here it goes. Cater…I hate you. Yeah, you read right. **I. HATE. YOU.**

I hate how your emotions affect me. I hate the way you laugh. You give me such a warm feeling when you do, especially if you laugh because of me. I always want to make you laugh, because nothing feels better when you do. But when you laugh at me, I just can't help but fall into the deepest despairs. I hate it when you cry. I hate seeing you sad. It is such an ugly emotion and it twists me up inside when you cry. It gets worse when I make you cry – which I did, don't you dare call me a liar – because I never meant to. It's my own fault and my temper just sometimes – okay, often – gets the best of me. I'm sorry.

I hate you for your looks. Cater, you are beautiful. Your eyes, Etro, I love your eyes. They're so fierce, they hold so much power, which is why I always lose to you in our petty debates. Yet, when you smile, your eyes only show joy. And then there is your body. Well, if I go into detail, I might as well kiss this life goodbye. But you turned into such a gorgeous lady. I also hate it when you call yourself ugly, even when you're just teasing yourself. Every time you say that, I want to scream how wrong you are. You aren't ugly Cater, believe me, you aren't.

I hate feeling inferior to you. You both know that you and I are the most competitive in class. I was mad at you when you beat me in races when we were kids. Now that we are older, I hate how you are able to handle missions so calmly while I can't get my head on straight. I want to be better than you because I want to feel like I have a right to be with you.

Do you know what I think of you? You are the badass gun-wielder with no fear. What am I? I'm just a short (I admitted it)…skinny brawler who is too scared to finish a person's life.

Cater, I hate you because I realize that I am in love with you.

**I**

**Am**

**In**

**Love**

**With**

**You**

And I do realize I just wasted how many lines of this paper, but I just want to get my point through. Whenever I am not thinking of school, missions, or keeping Jack out of trouble, my mind goes to you. I think of you for a long time. I think of how I could get even with you, or how to beat you in Tetris. See, as I'm writing this, I could even see that little smirk on your lip. That's how much I know you, Cater.

This is most probably one-sided. I just wanted to explain why I've been acting so weird around you lately…Cater...I just want you to know...even if you don't love me, I'll still love you...in a non-stalkerish way I should add. I will love you as friend, and if you accept that, then that will be way more than enough for me.

From,  
>Eight<p>

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><p><em>Eight sighed and groaned loudly to himself. He hates loving her. It's turning him to a big desperate wuss! "Glad I got that out of my system." he sighed sadly to himself. This was the fourth confession letter he wrote that no one, not even Cater, would get the chance to read. He crumpled the letter and threw it in the recycling bin.<em>

"_At least no one is going to read it." he tried to cheer himself up as he went out of the library._

_Too bad he didn't know about the red-headed gunner that overheard him while studying for Kurasame's test, "Why would he throw away something he spent hours on?" Cater asked herself because she knew that Eight would never let hard work go to waste._

_She picked up the letter and flattened it on a table nearby. It surprised her to find it so nicely written considering the fact Eight has no patience when it comes to writing. She read it aloud herself and was surprised by the first line, "Dear Cater?"_

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><p><em><strong>AN**: _May or may not continue with either Cater's reaction or Nine's letter to _ _ _ _ _ (clue: her name ends with an N, has two Es, and she has purple eyes! Try and guess who it is XD) But I'll label it complete for now.__

_If you wanna know, Cater and Eight were born in the year 825, so they'll be eighteen turning nineteen in the story (their birthdays are on June 9 and August 30 respectively)_

_Oh, and Cater/Eight (I should name it Ceight, lol, or Eighter XD) is my OTP for Type-0!_

_Have a Happy New Year!_


	2. Interlude Chapter

_**Interlude Chapter**_

_Rating: K  
>Warnings: It's completely safe. Just want to remind everyone that this is <strong>AU.<strong>_

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><p><em>11 23 hours<em>

_January 19, 844  
>Kurasame's Office<em>

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><p><em>The eighteen year old blonde walked into the office. He had no idea why the new Commander called him into his office. The man came the day winter break ended. Apparently, Miss Arecia, their old teacher also known as Mother, had retired. Jack sighed, what did he do? He was innocent so far. He didn't do anything annoying so far.<em>

_He looked into his cold green eyes and gulped. Kurasame gestured him to sit down, which he did, only to find a Tonberry on the chair. Jack screamed and drew his sword. Then he felt a blade on his throat._

"_Jack," he said in an icy tone, "Don't you dare hurt my pet."_

_He dismissed his weapon while still frozen in position. The Tonberry glared at him as it waddled to his master's side. No matter what his past may be, Jack's respect for the man had just went up for taming the Tonberry. He heard from Sice, who said in a delightfully evil grin, that only one in every one thousand attempts to tame a Tonberry actually succeeds. The rest weren't so lucky._

_Jack sat down and looked at his Commander, "Soo." He started off. He saw a twinge of annoyance and sat straight up his seat, "I mean: Good morning sir! What have you called me here for?"_

"_Jack, yes, I heard much from Arecia. Strong. Clever. Enthusiastic." The boy lit up with the comments, "Loud. Annoying. Lazy. Nuisance. Slow, both figuratively and literally. And many more things. However, she commented that you are a valuable asset to the team. Very honest, she says, and a close friend to everyone."_

'_Ouch Mom,' Jack thought bitterly, 'I'm not that lazy or annoying. And what does slow mean?' He then tuned in back to Kurasame and nodded his head, "Yeah. So why'd you call me here?"_

"_I've notice your grades aren't the best. Since I am new to your class, I'd like you to tell me about your classmates. A simple story would be fine. It doesn't have to involve everyone from Class Zero. In return, I would give you extra credit."_

_Jack lit up at the idea. "So any story would be fine?" he asked. Kurasame nodded. He thought back. There was that one event he remembered. "Well, it isn't recent, but I guess it stands out to me…"_

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><p>…I still remember the punk – as Cater would say it – who thought he could do it all. The one who looked before he leaped. He had that evil grin knowing he's the winner. If you guessed Nine, then you're wrong! Back then, Nine was one of the smartest, most adorkable – is that how Cinque uses it? She tells me I'm adorkable – guys in Class Zero. He was sort of like how I am today, except he did homework. I still remember Nine's favorite subject was geography. He could never stop talking about it. Wanna know who the punk was?<p>

Eight.

And then there was the shy emo girl. She was the one who never bothered to brush her hair in the morning nor even brush her teeth. You think she was disgusting? She was. She was a disgusting pig. And guess what? Her name was Cater!

Alright Kurasame, this was around four years ago, and we've all changed. Did you know? I used to get eighties on my tests! Could you believe that? I was so smart back then! But then I got lazy, haha…

Oh wait, you don't want any beating around the bush, right? Yeah, I do want this extra credit…don't glare at me like that!

Okay, okay, I'm going back on topic. So me and Eight were best friends even since then. He was the one who saved me from depression. Here's the thing, half of us lost our families in the war. Eight lost his when he was young, so he had no memories of them. Me and Cater however lost ours when we were eleven, so we were…traumatized by that. I got into some serious depression. Seriously! What, you don't think **I** can be depressed? Sheesh! You're mean, Kurasame. I mean Commander. Sorry…hey can I call you Mother?

…

Father?

…

Oh Etro! Put the Tonberry down!

…

Eight and I were partnered, because we both used to be sword-users. Before you ask, Queen and Sice were partnered together since they were like the evil girls in the class. Yeah! Queen was as bloodthirsty as Sice back in those days. _Back in those days_, man I sound old. Back to me and Eight, I got to know him, and he was a pretty up-beat guy. He got me out of depression.

Cater was a different story. King was in a different year than us, so she wasn't partnered with anyone. Eight noticed how lonely she was. We tried to give her company, however she just rejected us. And then we went on that mission to Byakko. I think that was in April of 838. We had to stop them from going a Suzaku village close by. Well, let's say it ended with Cater nearly losing her innocence…

I am not red. Geez, you say so many hurtful words, Kurasame-Commander-Father-Mother….

We had to go rescue her. Eight, he didn't have the best temper at the time. Hard to believe, no? He hacked and slashed his way through the soldiers. There was about two hundred of them, no exaggeration. We – as in Eight – destroyed the entire village. When we saw what they were about to do to Cater – no, I am not red! – Eight kind of snapped that moment. It is unbelievable. Not even Sice or Nine has the capability of getting that mad. Or maybe they do and I just haven't seen it.

Eight was like the Hulk! `Cept that he didn't turn green…or huge…which is a shame. It would have been cool to see that. He had a glowing red aura, as in scarlet, blood red. Even his eyes went red, I mean, he does have them now, but before he had brown eyes. I guess it was a permanent effect. He sure made a gory scene back then. Lots and lots of blood. He cut the body pieces into parts so tiny that you wouldn't even know their human! I don't think he was aiming. It involved more stabbing and slicing. It's just like Queen's "Janus" mode!

Don't sigh at me!

Fine, but you lost your birthday gift.

…

No! I was just kidding! Don't give me an F! Queen would kill me! Wait! How can I even get an F on extra credit! No way…you're going to deduct points of my grade! How cruel!

…

It took a long time for him to settle down, took me, Trey, Cinque, Deuce, and Ace to do it. We got injured badly. The rest of the village, they weren't so lucky…When Eight calmed down, he was traumatized by the damage he had done. Not only had he ruthlessly killed the soldiers, he killed innocent people as well…Cater seemed to realize that we actually cared for her and finally opened up to us. Or him. But me and Eight are a package deal. She told him to calm down, that it wasn't his fault. But he knew better. If it wasn't his fault, who was it then?

I guess that event shaped the three of us into who we are today. Eight became a whole lot mature after he recovered. He became quiet, still fun with a lot of hurtful sarcasm, but quiet. He didn't cuss anymore. He stopped using a sword and asked some of those Class Five guys like Ryid to teach him martial arts, which he is a boss at now. He's also very calm. Calmest guy I know. Cater became more open about her feelings. We became a team after then and she was great at magic, which us two weren't. She balanced us out. I…well…I became well…what did happen to me? I guess I appreciated life more, which I didn't then, and became more carefree as ever…

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><p><em>Kurasame stared at him and shook his head, "Not how I would have ended the story, but good job."<em>

"_Thanks!" Jack grinned, "So I'm good to go now, right?"_

_The Commander nodded and the blonde jumped straight out of his seat and out the door. Under Kurasame's mask was a tiny smile, "This class is turning out to be more interesting than I had hoped for."_

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><p><em>AN: Well, I had Cater's letter ready for some time, but I wanted to explain this part since it was in her letter. And I wanted to make a back story as to why these three are a team. Did it from Jack's POV because…well…he's adorkable._


	3. To: Eight, From: Cater

_Rating: K plus  
>Warnings: Language (not as clean as the first one, still, nothing too bad)<em>

_To: Eight  
>From: Cater<br>Date: February 12, 844 _

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><p>Dear Eight (A.K.A. the idiot whose too scared to say how he feels in front of my face),<p>

First of all, shut up. I don't want to hear about the greeting.

Anyways, I found your letter. I can tell that I wasn't supposed to because, really, what kind of person in their right mind will write out all those things. Only you, I guess. I digress – that rhymed! – why the hell did you try to solve this by writing a letter? Oh hey, you got my hell part, good for you! And you called me a demon, how touching.

Bah, I get off topic way too easily. Anyways, now that I'm reading your letter over again, I start to see your point of sending it to me. If you told me in person, I would have casted Meteor, Ultima, hell, even freaking Death on you. Don't ask about how! I don't care. So okay, I forgive you for writing this in letter.

Well, since this is a reply letter…well, here's the reply:

Eight, I've admired you. Not as in girly admire, but admire-admire you. Just like how Nine looks up to Kurasame or Kazusa admires Kurasame's…body (we better not mention that to anyone, alright?) I admired you since we were little kids. You always seemed so cool and calm. You were the guy I wanted to be, Eight. Kind of like how someone looks up to their older brother I guess. But that would be weird for the two of us, since I'm older than you…

I'm gonna be honest, you are more mature than me. (Yeah, yeah, I admitted it. You can take that stupid grin off your face now.) You always think things through. Me? Ha! I jump head first into a fire. Not that I mind! It's my style, thank you very much. But sometimes I wish I could be a little more patient like you. You think I'm calm during a mission? Dude, I panic. Before. In. And after. The mission. (That didn't make much sense, did it?) You, you never seem to panic. Okay, your ideas may seem lead to nowhere at times, but in the end, you always end up saving me and Jack's sorry butt. Me? I think you forgot the countless times we argued on missions whether to take the left path or the right path. And the funny thing is that you somehow choose the correct path. Is it instinct? Because you don't have any instincts when it comes to Tetris…or Pinball…or Tick-Tack-Toe.

You are also very patient when it comes to me and Jack's antics. (Oh yes, I used a vocab word from Kurasame's class) I guess it comes with the maturity. But even when it comes to the enemies, you don't kill them. Well, not on purpose anyways. Eight, I've seen you crack before. Yeah, that one time you, me, and Jack went to that Byakko town and I got kidnapped. (Happy times) Anyways, don't tell me you can't kill anyone with your skills. I've seen what you can do. In all honesty, you're the deadliest in class. The way you kill, it's not like me or Trey or even Queen or Rem. It's ruthless, a slow and painful death, and I guess the only one to match is Deuce, but it's her magic doing the killing. You, I'll never forgot that night. If that was the first time I saw you, then I would have thought you were a killing machine. With all the fighting you do, I'm surprised you don't act like one of those crazy murderers who wears a hockey mask.

You're also very selfless (haha, another vocab word) Listening to Deuce's not so great pieces (well, she has those bad moments too), giving Nine a brawl buddy and losing to him (yeah, I know you could easily throw his spear away and beat him senselessly) and actually listening to Queen's rants (well, most of the times). You almost-never say no to anyone, not even to Jack, who has asked you some pretty weird stuff. You always will do something as long as it is in your power. I really like that about you. And that is something I wish I could have. Actually, the only time I remember you saying no was when Jack asked you to play strip poker. (Yeah, I think you have enough some instincts to know not to risk it)

When I reached the "I hate you" part, I literally…froze. I choked up. I know you were expecting me to rip your face apart, but I didn't know how to feel about it. I had my gun set on your head couple sentences back, but as soon as I reached that part…I wasn't angry, not in the slightest…How should I say this? I was scared. I thought I might have done something wrong. I actually stopped reading. I was scared of what else you might say. And the next few words left me speechless.

I never knew how much I affected you. I mean, I act this way because I thought that you would be able to shrug it off. I never meant to hurt you. I'm so sorry.

Well, to be honest, I love it when you smile. You know how hard it is to get that smile out of you without having to rely on embarrassing moments [with Jack as the victim]. Etro, it's even harder than trying to scare King. But when you do, it feels so rewarding. Jack can agree with me on that, because you literally saved him from suicide. That is why he does so many crazy antics, because he just wants to see that smile out of you. And when you laugh, I…like your laugh. Well, maybe like as in crush….It has deep, rough edge to it, and when you laugh, it's as if the first joke on Orience had been told to you. It can't help but make others laugh too.

I love the way…you lie (I'm sorry, I'm thinking of songs right now! I need my music to concentrate on stuff…)

Anyways, scratch that. I love your eyes. Yeah, they're pretty cool. Or hot. I don't mean it that way! No, umm, red is not a cool color, so it has to be hot, right? This letter thing is harder than it looks…how'd you do it? Back to the eyes, your eyes show every little detail about you. And because you play a poker-face most of the times, your emotions seem to shine whenever you express some. When you're sad, you could see the littlest twinge of sadness within it. When you're passionate about something – oh, haha, passionate in what kind of way? Sorry, sorry – your eyebrows furrow down and you have that intense look that only Nine had when he had when he tried to control his bladder in that one mission in Genbu.

Hmm, now that I think of it, I never spent a day without you. Or Jack. But you two are a package deal. I dunno, it feels as if I need to see you on a daily basis, or else my day would feel incomplete. If you annoyed me so much, then I could have hung out with other people. But, I wanted to be with you because I enjoy being with you.

Eight. I love you, truly I do. But in the way that you love me, I'm not so sure. I saw those wives who lost their husbands in the previous war. It was so sad, seeing their grief. I swore to myself I wouldn't fall in love. I don't want to experience that pain, or worse, I don't want to give my husband that pain if I die. I tried to make myself as boy-repellant as possible, denying anyone who dared ask me on a date. If they didn't stop, I'd embarrass or shoot them. And then there's you. How come I'm not reacting the way I'm supposed to? If this was from someone else, I would have Ultima'd them. You...I don't know what to do. But here's something for you:

Why me?

You deserve so much better than me. You deserve a nice girl who's like Deuce or Cinque. All I do is whine and complain. I always drag you down. Remember that selflessness up there, yeah, you have too much of it. You just don't know when to say no. Even to me. Etro, why must you act this way? I don't deserve it…

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><p><em>Cater placed down her pencil and walked straight to her bed. Etro, this was much harder than what she had bargained for. How Eight was able to write so poetically was beyond her comprehension. She grabbed her pillow and let out a loud groan. Then she started punching it.<em>

"_Why are you so complicated?" she asked it. This was tearing her apart. She wanted to reply to his letter so badly, but she didn't know how. It was like quicksand. If she dared to make any move, it will eat her up. Not moving however will still eat her up, just in a slower, more painful way._

"_Can't I just talk it out?" she looked at her moogle pillow._

_Then a knock came from her door, "Cater, it's Eight…"_

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><p><em>AN: Gonna wrap it up soon on Valentine's Day (I hope)_


End file.
